A Promise to myself
I had promised myself when I started this blog that I would be authentic to myself.
Between the first post and now I've done a lot of research as to "how to create the perfect blog post". I understand there is a proven formula and standard for defining "perfect". I understand, and yet my need to be authentic outweighs the power of the algorithms. That and I have long ago given up my need to be perfect. So instead of following the "rules" I'm gonna make it up as I go, allowing myself to stay free and enjoy the process as we go.
I've chosen to start with this journal page. The beginning of a new journal as well as a new year. My spirit animal is a spider monkey, given to me by my Shaman at my last soul retrieval. Although this is not my image it is how I see us in my mind's eye. The spider monkey is known for its keen ability to detect deceit it is also a symbol of playfulness and joy.
Waiting on a Blessing for the New Year
I like rituals and thrive on consistency. Over the years my New Years' Eve Ritual has evolved to include among the candles, chrystals, incense, tarot cards, and intention-setting journal pages.
I've also learned that it's difficult to set intentions when you don't know what you what. Getting clear on what I want has helped me to focus my energy and resources. It helps me to set and reach for goals I would have never considered when I allowed my life to flow with the needs and desires of others.
I want the farmhouse to come alive in whatever shape it will take first for me so I have a home for my family.
I want water
I want more kisses. Deep. Long. For no reason and all the reasons
I want a family of my own
I want money in the savings account to stay there and grow
I want a place to call home that no one can take away from me
I want to feel beautiful in the photos again
I want friends to laugh with
I want to use my voice in the times when I can't find it, use it, allow it
I want a group of supportive women friends
I want coffee with cream in bed
I want a soul-felt connection
I want my hair to feel beautiful again
I want great sex
I want respect
I want my body to feel strong and tall and capable
i want love